CSW 193: How to Stand Up for Yourself Without Being a Jerk with Amy E. SmithAmy E. Smith is a certified and credentialed confidence coach, masterful speaker, and personal empowerment expert. Owner and founder of Joy Junkie Enterprises, Amy uses her roles as coach, writer, podcaster, and speaker to move individuals beyond limiting beliefs and sabotaging mindsets to a place of radical personal empowerment and self-love.

With acute focus on helping people “find their voice,” Amy uses her popular weekly podcast, The Joy Junkie Show, to address issues of worthiness, self-confidence, and letting go of people-pleasing to assist listeners in creating and living radically joyful lives. Co-founder of TheSelfLoveRevolution.com, Amy has been instrumental in aiding hundreds of women in stepping into their authentic power and craft lives they desire. She is highly sought after for her uncommon style of irreverence, wisdom, and humor and has been a featured expert on Fox 5 San Diego and YourTango.com.

Start stalking Amy at www.TheJoyJunkie.com and grab a free copy of her eWorkbook/Audiobook, Stand Up for Yourself Without Being a Dick: 9 Proven Challenges to Radically Improve Your Self-Confidence and Self-Love.

In this episode we talked about:

  • Amy’s story & what lead her to the work that she is currently doing
  • The importance of finding the hybrid of assertiveness and kindness
  • The biggest regret that people face at the end of their lives
  • Understanding how other people might be impacted by you but not taking responsibility for someone else’s feelings
  • Putting limits on your time
  • Externally imposed guilt versus internal guilt and how to manage both
  • When it is appropriate to feel guilt and when we guilt is mislabeled
  • Tips for establishing boundaries in different scenarios

Mentioned In This Episode

Book Yourself Solid by Michael Port (aff link; or click here for a non-aff link)
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bonnie Ware (aff link; or click here for a non-aff link)
Dare to Lead by Brene Brown (aff link; or click here for a non-aff link)

Something Cool

Melissa’s Something Cool: YNAB

Amy’s Something Cool: Voxer

Connect with Amy

Website | Stand up for Yourself without Being a Dick | Facebook Community | Instagram


“I always felt very strongly that I cannot be telling people to be their authentic self, coach speak for just be yourself and speak up for the things that you find offensive or your time, your energy. I couldn’t do those things if I was still masquerading being what I thought would be a ‘professional life coach’ or a speaker. It would just not be congruent.” – Amy E. Smith

“I wore a mask for many years.” – Amy E. Smith

“It wasn’t until many, many moons later that I realize that you can actually speak up for yourself, you can establish a boundary, and do it kindly.” – Amy E. Smith

“My whole life, because I’m female, I was programmed that your feelings are more important than my feelings and you know what, screw that. I am now taking a stand and saying, ‘no, my feelings are most important.’” – Melissa Dinwiddie

“We twist and conform to these ideas that everybody else’s approval or validity must equate our self-worth instead of going internal.” – Amy E. Smith

“Be gentle with your journey in this regard and know that any baby step is truly a step in the right direction.” – Amy E. Smith

“When you set a limit, the universe throws things at you to test.” – Melissa Dinwiddie

“You’re only being a bitch if you’re actually being a bitch.” – Amy E. Smith

“Please be compassionate. If it’s just one invite that you decline or you tell one person to please not say that in your company, that is a huge step and this takes fierce courage and bravery because we’re bucking a system that is telling us to behave a completely different way.” – Amy E. Smith


Listeners Wanted!

Has the Creative Sandbox Way™ podcast made a difference in your life? Would you like to be featured on the podcast?

I love sharing listener stories, so if you have a story of how listening to the podcast has changed your life for the better in some way — big or small — I want to feature you in a Listener Spotlight.

Here’s how it works:

1. Just log into iTunes and leave a rating and review. (If you don’t know how to do that, you’ll find step-by-step instructions at melissadinwiddie.com/itunes-review).

2. Then copy and paste what you wrote in your review into an email, and send it to me, along with why you want to be featured in a Listener Spotlight, and how the podcast has made a difference in your life. You can email me at melissadinwiddie.com/contact.

That’s it!

If I pick you for a Listener Spotlight, we’ll have a relaxed, fun conversation, and the recording of our conversation will be part of a future episode! How cool is that?

Want a creative kick start?
Check out my book!

The Creative Sandbox Way: Your Path to a Full-Color Life, by Melissa Dinwiddie

What would change for you if you could totally revel in the joy of creating? You CAN, with The Creative Sandbox Way™!

You’ll learn:

  • Melissa’s 10 fool-proof guideposts that have helped thousands get joyfully creating.
  • 5 reasons why creative play is good for you, AND for the world (it’s neuroscience, baby!)
  • Why “I’m not creative” is always a lie, and how to bust it.
  • How to turn creative blocks into friends.

AND you’ll get creating right in the book itself. 

ChrisGuillebeau“It’s one part field guide, one part creative practice—and I loved it. The Creative Sandbox Way is an adventure packaged as a book.”

~Chris Guillebeau
NYT best-selling author of The Happiness of Pursuit and The $100 Startup

Buy The Creative Sandbox Way by Melissa Dinwiddie - checkout with Amazon


Hear ye, hear ye! This is to serve as official notice that all links to anything for sale, be it books or courses, are likely to be affiliate links. What this means is that if you click through said links and make a purchase, although it won’t affect the price that you pay, a few coins will jangle into my coffers, enabling me to buy a packet of hard gluten-free biscuits to feed myself and my husband for another day, or perhaps a pen with which to create some artwork. Or perhaps they will contribute toward paying a fraction of my web hosting bill, so that this blog and podcast can continue to exist. Thank you kindly for your attention.

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining me this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

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Now go get creating!

xo, Melissa <3

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